Larger, Doughnuts and well endowed Giants

If I had anything decent to say about last night it was tea was over quickly. I had one of those oppressive thunder storm headaches but still managed to do a few domestic chores.
Dropped a nearly full jar of Hot Salsa dip over the kitchen floor, smashed to bits. Proves operating under parr. Happens when I am not well, get clumsy and knock things or miss co-ordinate. Infact it’s one of the clues picked up on that something is not right.
Thankfully took a few pain killers (4 cans larger), not as instant as the parathingy’s, but more fun.
Restless night waking several times, not least by the birds singing and having some strange dreams.

Mr Blue Sky
Where indeed did we go wrong?
I am now of the opinion that moaning about the weather is doing no good, so like a politican, we must put a positive spin on the whole rain thing.
So “We had a very welcome drop of rain today and even the odd rumble of thunder to remind us that a cold front actually met a warm front.

The resulting precipitation of hale destroyed any blossom on the runner beans, meaning we will not have to go out and pick any for the foreseeable future.

Instead we will rely on the overpriced Tesco variant and whilst instore succumb to purchasing ‘loss leaders’ maintaining the hard earned profits of an egalitarian employer”.


Cerne Abbas homage

The locals are up in arms about an 180ft Homer Simpson painted next ot the Cerne Abbas giant. Which is more offensive, a club wielding giant with a stiffy or Homer in pants, cluthching a doughnut?
Both are forms of visual art but it’s unlikely young ladies will be wanting to sit on the image of Homers pants in an attempt to get pregnant.

Two Pints
Watched a repeat last night, the coloured lass was so funny. She had to climb through a window or a supposedly possessed pub and remarked she did not want to snag her tights cos “ That would be almost embarrassing as the time I pooted during my smear test”. Lol


This afternoons meeting is going to be exciting not, chaired by someone who likes the sound of own voice and I am taking minutes. As has been said ‘I got the short straw’. Oh I so hope I get to the gym tonight, need the endorphine rush to kick mwe outta the depression of being stuck in office.

Quote

‘Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire’ (Winston Churchill)

Let's dance (David Bowie)

Wish me luck, I have had far far more promising afternoons than the one ahead.

Take Care

Bus Driver, BHD and flies

Weekender

Friday night’s are either a celebration of the weekend or like last Friday an over – tired stare out the window at crap weather and feeling that it’s not going to be a fun one. Silly me, should realise by now that tiredness leaves one susceptible to low morale.

Thankfully Saturday was fine so after delivering nearly 500 papers between us we sat in garden with small barbecue. Two Chilli and Garlic sausages purchased form Local Butcher and a few beverages.
After the barbecue used coals for fire in couldron (old style barbecue made of cast iron, brill for having small fires) and put some music on.
Sat outside till o/h decided she would take herself to bed (only 8 O’Clock), so made sure fire was out and all cats were in before I went .
Funny but there’s always one you cannot find and after spending a good half hour whistling and calling their name, get fed up and go indoors to find there already in. …..sure they hide just to play me up lol.

Sunday did breakfast and watched telly before going to Gym. The place was packed cos there was this kids football event going on.. Ice Cream van, bouncy castle and tons vehicles in car par. Kid’s were covered waste deep in mud and it was chucking it down, proud parents huddled under umbrella’s to cheer their offspring secretly wondering how they will get them home without turning the car into a mud bath. Oh the joy of being a parent lol.

Returned home to a pile of ironing before lunch then getting ready for B’day party. Picked friends up and drove into Birmingham to find the club. It was not a bad party, the people were friendly and although I did not know many of them had a good afternoon/ evening. Had my first taste of ‘Rice and Pea’s’ with home made curried goat. We left at 10:30 to take our friends back before going home.

Had a couple of cider’s before bed (designated driver) , by 1 a.m. I was out like a light.

On reflection weekends are over all too quickly …. not had time off since April….. could do with chillin out for a week in Sun. Maybe in September, when the kid’s are back in school…….too expensive at moment.


Pretty ‘Fly’ for a white Guy

There I am struggling to keep two bumdbells perched above my head, really trying to perform a good number of repitions
When this fly decides to ‘buzz ’me..backwards and forwards right infront of my face…. in a taunting ‘you can’t catch me’ way.
In no position to do bugger all if it landed on me and perspiring with the effort probably made matters worse.
Felt like charecter from Peanuts cartoon, the one who always carried a blanket and was surrounded by a dust cloud and flies. Embarrassed by the attention incase anyone thought it was a matter of personal hygiene…. moved on to a different area…me that is not the fly.Now I know where they got the exercise called the inclined fly lol


Your too sexy for my bus(t)

Most of us men would probably admire an attractive 20 yr old without making an issue of it, not this German bus driver.
Imagine the bus telling you to move, cos he can’t stop looking at your breasts and his employers backed him! As the question say's wonder how he would feel if tables were reversed.

BHD explained in Mathmatics

I always prefer to keep my hair shortish to avoid tufts, according to mathmatics here’s why they occur.
Given a tangential vector field on the surface of a sphere in three-dimensional space, there must be at least one point where the field is zero.

Try telling the hairdresser that!

In the absence of any decent humour from me today I draw attention to lihorney’s excellent piece containing ‘ Itchy and scratchy’ humour.

Talking of itchy here’s an HGH2 article on Allergic Feminie Reaction and it’s nothing to do with men!!!

Take Care

Where there's muck & Northerness

Nasty habit of reading things too quickly. Sometimes it’s amusing e.g taking Yahoo’s headline, ‘Bush says no shift on Iraq’ and dropping the ‘f’. Oh is he so deeply in it there! lol

Expensive loo roll
Following stories regarding large amounts of cash being stashed in male restrooms of public buildings, there has been an icrease in the number of visitors to our facilities. Our visitors were less happy to learn that this only occurred in Japan. It’s thought the local diet left them ‘bunged up’ and a good ‘deposit’ was required. Either that or the yacuza have not grasped the concept of money laundering & dirty money.

Last Night
“She said”(sorry it just poped into my head, lyrics often do).
The Gym was a reduced session but I felt better for going, than leaving it till Sunday.
Also managed to do some domestic chores but on the downside ate a large tea and a Chinese later (but he was only small lol).

Work
There’s a rising awareness that work is bad for you. You get an occasional good day but on the whole, for most of us, it’s not intellectually stimulating enough and you can think of better things that you could be doing elsewhere.
The problem is you need the money, so like a good un you do your best. Occasionally though, if your clever, you can achieve ‘upward delegation’.
This is the art of creating work for your boss. It has the rather positive effect that you generally get left alone, as they become reluctant to give you a piece of paper lest they get four back.
Today I have done this to my boss’s boss and whilst feel kinda smug’ also feel sorry for poor fella cos he was trying to clear his desk.

Nothernness
You can even do a course in it!!!!!
What about us in the center? Can we do a Midlanderness course and what do you think we should include?

Weekender
Apart from going to a party Sunday not sure what’s on cards. Not looking too good for being outdoors, so I might just go on sunbed to avoid S.A.D. Oh and I have to get hair cut……

They found me at last!

For those of you who wonder what I look like here one from my modelling portfolio LOL.

Underwear, BDSM and Shrek the third

A ‘pants’ book review
Underwear played a huge role in promoting literacy according to this article.
Who would have thought it, recycling your grundies into paper.
Not sure they would get vary far with today’s trend for thongs lol.

Apparently country folk were more prone to ‘going commando’ which was frowned upon in the city.
Of course the researchers have overlooked the possibility that country folk were more concerned with VPL under their smocks lol


Tin Tin top shelf only
Apprently Herge’s Tin Tin is racist, so it’s come off the children’s book shelves and been put on the adult section
At least the bookstore has had the common sense to let the consumer decide, given the time the material was written.

Shrek the third
It sounds like an injustice to say that the closing credits were the best part of the film but it is true.
The film was good, even if the plot is getting a little worn, it’s just they saved the best till last.
Incase you have not seen yet I will leave it there.


Gardening can be a pain
Apparently a garden should have a theme.
It should say something to the gardener according to this article based on the BDSM garden.
Mine keeps telling me to cut the grass or is it ‘spank my ass’ lol.

Coming to an Island near you!
One of our local traffic Islands in home to a large colony of wild rabbits. They just sit and chew the grass as numerous vehicles pass. They don’t seem interested in leaving. They have food ,shelter and plenty of company.
I am wondering who has best got their life in balance, us or them.
Maybe I’ll join them , anyone else interested???


Gym for me tonight and I feel like a change of exercise could snap me out of a rut. Well see what happens, sometimes I start off with an intention and life just gets in the way.
Take Care

Mid week trend

Following my recent Bagging topic I was thinking you could actually put pictures on them. Then I found this.

and apparently one of Girls aloud is into the trend to.

It's obviously catching on lol.

Philosophical thought

My life suffers two extremes e.g. exercise and alcohol. Both are fairly regular occurances , alcohol is not in enough volume to call it alcoholism, nor is it dependency (cos I can abstain for days). Exercise is as regular as I can make it and as intense as my body allows.
On reflection it’s indicative of the way I approach most things, if you draw a line up the centre of a page and do a scatter plot of most things, alcohol v exercise, work v play, good v bad or conformity v rebellion, you name it I would have two extremes, far left and far right.
The question I am asking myself is what does this all mean?
I like to dip my toe in many puddles? Im inconsistent? Too easy going to choose an option? Or I want the best of both worlds?
Am I searching for something or seeking to belong ?

Who knows!
Guess you could call me a deviant lol

Patrick joke
Q. How Do you confuse an Irishman?
A. Line two shovels up against a wall and tell him to take his pick…... (Frank Carson, ur a cracker)

Smokers invade Stoke (but only until August)
It can only happen here -Smoke on trent

Shrek tonight
No I have’nt been looking in the mirror, Im not bogey green with a proclaimers accent lol, we are going to the cinema to see the film.
My favourite is Puss, mainly because we have one that can do those big eye’s when you try to tell her off ….typical female lol.
Ginger breadman comes close second for sheer attitude.

As you can see I am persisting with the colour today, though I think my mixing is attrocious.

Take Care

Chewsdays

Fattening up for Market Day

Today had porridge and honey for breakfast before coming to work, completely forgot the Project Manager promised Sausage or Bacon sarnies next time.

So having demolished a Bacon sarnie (no sauce unfortunately) we got kicked out of the meeting room cos it had been booked for 10 a.m. Returned to Office for Coffee and obligatory apple pie (they were nearing the expiry date).

The meeting was strange more of a pantomime, I am scheduled for 472 or work and one day I have two separate tasks totalling 16 hours. Nice to see my name come up in red, denoting I am overtasked….. cos I only do 8 hr days lol.

Oh god here we go again! V has just crashed the mini doughnuts. Why is all this food coming at once??
There are day’s I just don’t get time to grab breakfast and sit here stomach rumbling until I succumb to an early lunch not today its eat, eat, eat.

OMG it’s 14:35 and I have just be offered a piece of lemon cake, this is toooooo coincidental to be true. There are strange forces at work today.

It’s the cows fault!

Belching cows more harmful than 4by 4’s?????? The world has truly gone over the edge now

Flirt Divert
Radio one has this mobile number they broadcast, anyone can give it if approached by an unwanted admirer. Some of the most stupid or weird ones get played on air….
they are so cringe worthy.
Last night one left a message where he called the woman “Bird” directly. Another left a message to say they met in *** club, which according to the presenters/DJ is a lap dance place. I despair of my fellow man sometimes.
It’s not just the men either, some of the women sound like bunny boilers/ serial stalkers.
A funnier call was responding to a card put through this woman’s door about relocating to Wales. She actually sounded genuinely interested…oh what fun you can have.

We did’nt make it (Am I boverred)

After all that brilliant work selling our achievements, we did not makeTeam of the month for July. To make it worse the entries were so good they chose to award it to two teams this month, so we did’nt even come second.

Colour my life
In response to lihorney’s rather attractive entry I am joining the campaign to brighten the world with coloured txt…….but not pink.. noooo

Monday Monday- no good for me

Wimbledon’s over so it can stop raining now, no honestly it is, really.
Despite the two most reasonable days for a good while, it’s back to make us sad.
Nothing seasonal about it, infact it’s most unseasonal and unwelcome weather.
Like Monday morning, there’s a boring predictability now.

Hung over I missed the Gym on Sunday, celebrating o/h passing advanced driving test on Saturday.
Cava, cream cakes and Chinese food washed down with a few glasses of red. No wonder I felt rough.

Only managed to catch snippets of Live Earth but that did include Madges excellent performance.
Some tabloid has decided to attack Madonna for her companies investments and huge fleet of
cars and planes she alledgedly uses. I’ll bet the reporter and the editor do their bit……yeah right.
Sensationalism sells newspapers not facts.
Tennis finals were good, but I was rooting for the under dog’s and neither won despite their best efforts.

Not in the best mood to do a good blog today, head aches in that pre storm way
Going to have a coffee and a Wagon Wheel, sugar rush needed.

For the visitor who loves her shoes I have this offering, not exactly the real thing but like a picture of a Red Lamboughini Diablo, exudes a certain sex appeal

Take Care

Bagging Experience, Freebie and Pigeons

We’ll I made it to the sanctuary , yet again left feeling it was mediocre session.
To be honest it’s often a yo-yo experience, there are day’s you want to go, after it’s over you feel like you have not done much. Other days you cannot be asked, but surprisingly, leave feeling lifted by a good performance.
It’s frustrating that one day you can lift a certain weight or perform an exercise with good form and another you struggle. I know the body needs at least 24hrs to recover, that’s why it’s good to mix it up and do cardio one day, weights another or concentrate on different areas on different day’s. The main frustration with that is access to the equipment, especially if you only go for an hour at a time.
Unless my shirts are shrinking in the wash, results are coming.. slowly. This week has also been healthier, more water, more sleep and only 2 glasses of wine since weekend.

Bagging
O/h showed me an article from a girl’s magazine. It’s about people who spice up their sex lives by putting a bag over their head,whilst making love.
It appears that for some the isolation, anticipation of not knowing what the others doing and not seeing the others face is a turn on. There were three separate couples who confessed that they participated in this activity and I must admit that I can see what they mean, after all it’s like blindfolding, it just takes trust.
I am now wondering about the recent disappearance of a large number of extra large gusseted envelopes from the office. lol
Do you think we have a bagger in our midst?
Will let you know if I find anything out, as yet I have not had a discussion about the article with the ladies in the office.

Experience
After a career of 29 years and at least 5 employers I do a good line in sounding like I know what I am on about, occasionally I do and I amaze myself.
Despite not being as highly ranked as previously employed I am sometimes alarmed at the naivety of colleagues put in positions of responsibility.
The latest is that given a project schedule, people take it as gospel events will happen according to plan. Hello, big dose of reality, open wide and swallow.
On the other hand a little bit of ignorance protects the average employee from realising the actual reality those that captain the ship sometimes loose the compass.

Temping
Temping is useful way of learning about an organisation, without making a commitment. You owe the employer nothing and they owe you nothing. A mutual balance of respect, you know you will not be doing anything too interesting and they now that they cannot ask you to, “go the extra mile”. However, if you are a good temp and succumb to the offer of a full time postion you have a limited, the“window of respect *” to find an alternative employment source.
Once past the window you are effectively “ locked in” and seen as part of the furniture. If the employer has a problem you will become part of the solution, an expendable foot soldier. This might involve you doing extra duties for no financial reward.
The management lingo is “ Going the extra mile”, “getting a feather in the cap”or “demonstrating model employee behaviour”. Effectively you are past the point where you are in a position to bargain, as you have sold your services
. I once worked with a guy who had so many accrued and unrewarded accalaids I called him Cochise (full headdress of feathers). I don’t imply that you should not make an effort but that you should strike a balance, maintain the equilibrium.

*This is generally the period it takes for you to become so ingrained into the organisation that it is not financially viable for you to seek alternative employment.

Freebie
One of the other team has given us all two Phillips small bayonet energy saving bulbs for home. They are being given out as part of a conservation thingy. One of the team (blond (forgive me lord, I know I am not perfect)) asked what they were for , so I put on to each ear and said it’s a the new idea’s scheme, you put one in each ear and when you have a bright idea they light up. lol
She laughed, so I got away with it.

Pigeons
Ever since I heard Blurs Park life I wondered what they meant by “intimidated by the pigeons”.
Now I know, a ruddy great specimen has just landed on a branch outside my window, turned round and plopped into the courtyard, before flying off.
He must have worked here in a previous life lol.

Alledgeldy it’s going to be a nice day tomorrow, so it’s outside, maybe a Barbie (BBQ not the doll though I could do good impression of ken lol), well see. The importance of getting outside cannot be stressed enough, as indicated in the article Happiness is right outside . The recent inclement weather is enough to make the most cheerful of us feel less than tip top.
Take Care

Fun, Langauge and Dating

Too tired
You may know the feeling, the I can’t be asked
Well that’s how it was last night. Too tired to go to Cinema but sat and watched the ladies Tennis.
Too enthrawled to let the drooping eyelids close.
So pleased Justine won. Even though have no proof ,feel that Sabrina used gamesmanship in previous match.

Missing all the fun
When I got back from yesterday’s meeting there was a plastic glass of what I thought was cloudy water on my desk.
Naturally I thought one of the team had got a round in and left it for me.
Little did I realise it started out as a glass of pseudo champagne from the team opposite having a celebration of their performance over the past 12 months.
It was only about half hour late, when someone walked by quickly and the resulting draught brought the sweet smell of fruit to my attention, then I realised.
Unfortunately it was too late in day to consume but I appreciated the thoughtfulness of the two (female) officers from the opposite team who thought we should not be left out of the celebrations.

Central Line Derailment
One method for staying cheerful is to appreciate your life and how more fortunate you are than others, on a daily basis.
I can only imagewhat ran through the minds of passenger on this mornings tube. On a more balanced note,the Muslim calling for British troop s to be sent home in body bags has been found guilty of inciting murder.

Second Language
One of the questions in yesterday’s meeting was do I have to use a second language. The Interviewer then went on to comment that in several parts of the country English,is not the primary language.
Lying awake at 6 this morning,a cracking responcse to that comment came to me…….

“innit tho” lol , lol. (o.k. I thought it was funny)


Woody Allen
The American comedian once made a joke that “ self pleasuring is sex with someone you love and you don’t have to take your hand out to dinner afterwards and talk about it’s problems”.
This was over 20 yrs ago and at a time when it was difficult to appreciate the humour without knowledge of American culture. Today we have caught up with American trends and it easier to see what he meant by going out to dinner and talking about problems. As Lihorney testifies in her blog, dating is a minefield, however the addadge is, if you don’t buy a ticket you cannot win the lottery.
The odds of winning the lottery jackpot were once quoted as the same as having aliens land in your back garden.
Holding this to be true and bearing in mind there are alledgedly lottery jackpot winners ( don’t know any) then aliens exist.

What do you think aliens would make of dating? Do you think they have tried it and the experience has put them off ever making contact again?

Perhaps I have read too much Douglas Adams or the team have been sneaking things into my coffee
(pro plus I hope!).

Expect I will visit my Valhalla later , all being well.
If not, I will enjoy the rest and find more reasons to smile at life in general.
Take care & be happy

It's only Words (&music & comedy)

Today is going to be a busy day, a telephone conference this morning and a meeting lasting most of this afternoon. Should make day go quickly, so not all bad.
It’s my first teleconference, so I feel nervous even though I know it’s no big deal. After all it’s just several people sharing a phone call.
I think it’s the fact that it’s for a big project and the objective is to allocate names to tasks, my job will therefore be to avoid being “delegated” with too much and understanding the who, the why the what and when of it all.
A little nerves is not a bad thing, it means I am thinking about the task even sub consciously.

Post Telecon
Survived intact and quite proud that, although identified to a number of tasks, I seemed to be more assertive than some of the participants from our side. Good job somebody sounds like they know what they are doing. Only the afternoon meeting to go. That’s going to be an important one, it’s about maintaining my status/pay, something called Job Evaluation.

The Gym
Lat nights gym session was good, though I did more aerobic exercise 2km (about 1.25 miles) on cross trainer in 8 minutes mingled in with isometric (weights/machines) excercises. Unfortunately, cos not used to as much aerobic exercise, perspired more than usual . Not an attractive sight but fortunately carry a small towel so others do not have to suffer.
When I was really aerobically fit I could do 30 minutes on a cross trainer and hardly perspire, but then I did no weights so I guess you have to keep mixing it up.

Hot stuff
Is it just me or has anyone else had trouble sleeping the last couple of nights? Despite the weather I have had to have a ceiling fan on to stay cool. I conclude I must be hot stuff lol.


You can’t beat a bit of oral
There’s going to be a new show based on song lyric’s, Sing it Back. Not sure if I’ll watch, but it sounds good.
One of the reasons I like the chillie Peppers (hence blog title) is their use of lyric’s. The twists and turns are so clever.
If ever I was green eyed it’s can use language creatively, be they singers/songwriters, comedians or poet’s.
p.s I do not include sales men, yes they can use language but that is with the intention of permanently depriving us of our hard earned cash.

Overplay
On the subject of music, if I hear the Hoxtons-Generator one more time I will scream.
Radio one has been playing it everyday, sometimes two or three times and like NYC beats, it’s now getting on me nerves.

Johnny Vegas
Overweight, looks like he never has a shave but he is so… so funny i.e. On The F Word last nigh,t telling Gordon that they have Gordon Ramsey parties where they all sit round and tell each other to F*** Off! Or when playin Mos he said “it’s like having the builders in, you know things have been moved you just can’t tell if any actual work has been done”.

Tonight we might go to cinema, ‘Shrek the third’ looks like it could be the best bet. I might need a goof laf by then.

You will by now have noticed I have taken to using sub headers, it’s to help you skip any boring bits and more importantly, help put very disjointed items on the same page without having to think of a reasonable link to help it flow.

Yes I am lazy, or as I prefer to look at it efficient.
(Objective achieved with minimal effort)

I will leave the subject of quality to those discearing readers who take time to visit.
Once again I thank you for popping in and leaving comments.
Take care

Eclectic at best

Listening to: and Perhaps it’s an omen ,Rihanna ft Jay-Z-Umbrella (Def Jam), number one at mo

Feeling Like: Why does it always pi** down when I have to deliver or collect something?
Watching the news put’s perspective on it though, others loose their homes and possessions or even lives.

Following on from the Sunday curse of injuries, another curse for those around me yesterday… loss of mobile phones, two to be precise. This is getting well too coincidental for my liking. Wonder what it’ll be today!

At the moment I am a man caught between o/h and daughter, who are not getting on and while I can see both sides. Can’t wait for them to get over it. There’s something about that triangle though, be it a daughter or son, conflict is inevitable, it’s part of the
deal.
Catch 22 gives a brilliant insight on life, if you are ever short of a good read.

bloody autopilot
Resigned to not being a morning person I have washed up, fed cats, made sandwiches, made o/h drimk, had breakfast, changed litter tray, put bin out for dustman and arrived at work.
On exiting car felt a bit of a draught…..if you follow my meaning….yes you got it…failed to close the gate/ flying low , or whatever else you may wish to call it.
Fortunately car park empty so I managed to correct the male equivalent of tucking your dress in your knickers.
No excuse…must spend more time on personal appearance before setting foot outside own door.

Car Stickers
Best car sticker….made me and my Dad laugh over 20yrs ago.
Picture of girl from back, wearing sexy undies, bending slightly forward with hands on hips.
Caption read “Get em down safely with Air Traffic Control”lol

These day’s all I seem to see is baby on board etc, even the joke ones are not as funny.
It’s like were all to PC to appreciate the art of comedy. (Making you think your going in one direction then suddenly taking you somewhere completely different) i.e. The juxtaposition of Sex and Air Traffic Control.

Bad Joke (Apologies in advance for the quality of this offering)
Woman goes to doctor and say’s that whilst she has a wonderful, loving husband, their sex life is no good.
The doctor asks what specifically is the problem.
She says when they have sex she never notices anything, no penetration….. nothing.

The Doctor asks if the husband is adequately endowed
and she confirms that everything is o.k... with both of them.
Then the Doctor asks what her husband does for a living.
She says he is in the S.A.S

The Doc smiles and exclaims, “ that’s it then!”
The lady looks puzzled
The Doctor say’s, “What do you expect, those guy’s are trained to get in and out without anyone noticing”

Crimewatch
The bad news is I have nightmares, caused by watching Nick Ross’s career over 20yrs. We do not normally watch it, just nothing else worthy.
Last night was too much seeing those 1980’s flashbacks. Almost makes you want to become a vampire to gain eternal life.
So in the words of Meatloaf, “Will you offer your throat to the wolf”?
Oh god I really am old aren’t I (a rhetorical question, honest).

Wimbledon (Knicker Watch )
Excuse me please, but did we really have to see Miss Williams stretching…. and at tea time too.
Although we will never know, I wonder if there was some Gamesmanship, she recovered very convieniently.
I believe every one has their day, so in a couple of years it will probably be dominated by young blond Russians screaming niet, niet……..fantastiiiiic. (Des Lynham is very much missed).
Take Care

Something about the weekend

What a funny weekend…….actually it was a strange one.
A party on Friday night and three of us went (daughter home for weekend). I was designated driver so spent most of evening chatting to daughter, more of a catch up on her life.
Arrived back home at nearly 1 a.m. feeling like I want to go to bed but o/h wanted more drinks and lit the fire pit on the patio. She lasted two drinks before going inside and falling asleep, so I went to bed, just as it was getting light.

Saturday was a bit of non-entity, rising at 11 a.m. and delivered nearly 200 directories in the rain. Cannot help thinking, that in the age of technology, directories are a waste of paper. I bet a good proportion will never be used.
Mid way through deliveries got a call from o/h informing me tumble dryer packed up..brill…just when we are trying earn some money.

I never did get to do the pasta bake cos o/h cooked fave meal for daughter & remainder of day was that exciting I cannot even recall it now.
Sunday I got to my sanctuary early, at one one point I was only person in the ‘advanced room’(I use the term tongue in cheek).
Soon joined by two rather fit ladies, who looked like athletes..you know the type… lycra hugs curves and muscle definition good but not manly.
For a while we were the only three people in the room and it was hard to avoid looking or worse being caught. I am sure they were aware that they looked good and probably laughing at my expense (in that giggly school girl way). At the risk of sounding OAP (Old age Perv) let’s just say my concentration wondered.
Anyhow, getting to the point.
The place got a little more busy and I was sitting on a bench, infront of mirriors and the ladies working behind me a little way towards back of room.
They were in process of changing plates on a bar when a bar slipped (had not been put away properly) and hit one them on head. It did not knock her out or cut her head but she certainly took a whack.
Her friend made her sit on floor and summoned the first aid person with an ice pack. They were still there when I left 20 minutes later and she was talking to the staff, hopefully she was o.k. (thought it was a bit pointless asking by then).
Obviously the room is called advanced cos you have to look out for hazards caused by ‘advanced’ idiots who cannot put things away correctly after use.

Later that day there was another incident whilst I was in local supermarket, don’t know the detail, just saw first aid staff on garage forecourt dealing with a lady.
At this point I was beginning to feel cursed ………………………….. fortunately that was it for the day.
Watched some of the Diana concert, which I thought was disappointing on the whole.
The bloke from Super Tramp was excellent (don’t know his name) and Take That (No I am not Gay!).
Rod should grow old gracefully and stop kicking balls at his age. … boy did he make a mistake having a leggy blond saxophonist. At one stage it was like beauty and the beast LOL.

To be fair, I think the sound system/ technical difficulties did not help some artists but at least it did not rain.


Today I feel stiffness in the muscles, as they tighten and repair, a wonderful feeling sorely missed.
Tonight picking up a new tumble dryer and taking o/h to pick up loan vehicle.

No rest for the wicked then
Take care

Mood, Music and Power dressing

Yesterday’s mood was one of introspection and given advice on mental health I would say I was depressed. Then, self diagnosis is not necessarily accurate, given a medical dictionary we could all easily be hypocondriacts.
What I did find interesting, on the subject of mental health, is how many people suffer from depression.
Never equated the fact that people who can deal with important issues in the workplace can equally crumble over minor issues in a domestic setting.

Never made the Sanctuary because of the domestic issues but sometimes what you need to do is not what you want to do.
To quote the terminator, “ I will be back”, it’s just a matter of timing.
According to fitness advice you should also take a break every now and then, it helps recovery and stimulates the body.
The best philosophy on life is to deal with the reality and look for the positives. So as Ian Drury’s song goes, “reasons to be cheerful, part three”.

He also have a hit with the words “Hit me with your rhythm stick, it’s nice to be a lunatic” lol R.I.P you brilliant man (Ian Drury)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Dury

On the subject of lyrics, I often get odd one liners stuck in the brain, with absolutely no idea where I heard them; or why I recall them at specific moments. Last week it was “As god is my witness don’t monkey with my business”, which I think comes form a Duran-Duran song.
Perhaps it’s just I think to much, as Sean Paul says “I don’t watch them what say, just them that do”

Think I might do a pasta bake for tea on Saturday, we’ll I will suggest it and see what happens, probably cause hysteria or looks of disapproval. I love pasta especially accompanied by an Italian red (or two).

Struggling to end this reasonably so I am going to tell you a rather old joke

Couple recently married.
Husband turns to wife and says, ”Put my trousers on” .
Wife protests that they won’t fit, but husband insists, so she does as he asks and then say’s
“look they are ridiculous, they are miles too big”.
He says “Right, now you know, who wears the trousers in this house”.

So the wife takes her knickers off and hands them to her husband saying
“put those on then clever clogs”
He protests
“ But I,ll never get into them”
and the Wife say’s
“that’s the way it’s going to stay if you don’t change your attitude” lol
Take care , have a good weekend and a happy one

Smoking

Apologies for the following, it’s not meant to offend just amuse. Life is a little turgid in most respects at the moment and self preservation dictates that I have some outlet. It also gives you some idea of how random my thoughts go.



A few days to go until the Ban comes into effect.But have they considered the consequences?
Currently people who smoke tend to do so on works time and those that don’t smoke make up the deficit in production or service level.
Once the ban comes into effect there is going to be more productivity as a result of reduced breaks or down time. Given that demand for most products or services is being met by the current output (with smoking breaks) the result is a surplus.
Surplus is over supply and likely to lead to cut backs…….in staff?

An alternative is for those who smoke to spend any money saved, thereby increasing demand .
What’s the most likely accessible item that might purchased in majority of workplaces?

Yes you got it………. food!

Any good economist is likely to tell you that an increase in demand is likely to see an increase in price. Therefore we are all
going to be paying more as a consequence. Some ex- smokers will put on weight, dramatically increasing obesity levels.

Those that never smoked will get even thinner, cos they cannot afford to eat and the new dress size will be like a toy train set, guage 000.
Vanessa feltz might really be able to claim to like a size 12 but resemble Miss Piggy though lol.

Alas my mood is not one for blogging today, save to thank those who visit my world.
I wish you all health and cheer.
Take Care

Kid's, Cat's and Cow's

No gym last night, got to do something with telephone directories instead, but it was’nt ripping them, it was delivering them!

O/h ,in an attempt to earn whilst learning, has taken on delivery of nearly 1000 directories. Unfortunately for one reason or another she had not been able to complete a certain area and asked for my assistance.
If I said I was not disappointed, would be lying, cos I was looking forward to a session in the gym. However I thought to myself, stop being spoilt kid, look at it as an Aeorbic exercise.
So off I go loaded with over 200 directories and a trolley meant for Newspapers. The area in question is one of the less salubrious parts of our town., the houses/ flats are mostly council owned.

What I did find amusing was a group of children playing in a car park area just outside the houses, especially the lad who said “Leave it on the bin mate and I’ll take it in when I go in” he was probably about 7yrs old. Then there was the little bespectacled girl who politely enquired if I was doing the whole of the road and asked if she could take one for her house “cos the dog barks loud”. It was surreal like that Mareva advert, where the kid’s act the adults and the adults go off and play.

Saw very few adults, those that I did see reminded me that this is very much a council estate. Nothging wrong with that, grew up in the heart of Industrial Birmingham, in a Council house myself. Just reminded me the difference in people’s lives and where I have come from.
Determined that Thursday I am going to be in the Gym, but then who knows what will happen, remain optimistic (for a change).

Must admit to a failing. Had a few drinks before bed and fell asleep, waking up at half past midnight, still on the sofa…. realised the cats were still out.
Left o/h in situ and went to call them in, which took about twenty minutes, cos they are creatures of the night preferring to chase little insects, rather than respond to pathetic calls form a sleepy (and at this point freezing) idiot of an owner.
p.s thought global warming means it get’s warmer, not colder brrrr.

Anyhow once they were all safely in the kitchen I closed the door and in eagerness to get to bed I raced up the stairs stubbing a toe on the wooden stairs.
By this time o/h had woken and taken herself to slumber’s, only lifting her head form pillow to enquire if they were safely in.
The reply was a lot more pure than my thoughts at the time…. probably only bruised….. but it hurt like hell .

Today J is in late cos it’s her daughter’s school assembley. Last night she stopped at my desk and said “My daughters a cow” followed by “ I have to make something to make her look like a cow”.
At first me and T thought she was calling her daughter a cow, not stating that was the part in the assembely.
I would say it is a blond thing but both T and J are blond. T thought the same as me, so starting a conversation with an ambiguous statement is just a trait of J’s.
Unfortunately for me I have a rather active, sometimes purile, imagination that will make anything into a joke to relieve boredom. I can often be heard to laugh at double entendre’s, innuendo and faux paus. Probably to cover up the fact that I am a shy person, even at 40+.

Out for meal tonight with people o/h know’s from wedding/ ‘girly’ holiday.
Hope food’s good, could eat a horse right now.

Take Care

Banging our own drums

Have spent most of the morning completing an application for team of the month, for own team. I would not normally be bothered with such corporate back slapping initiatives. Cringing at the mere thought of extolling our virtues using language making estate agents seem amateur in attempting to describe broom cupboards as palatial residences.
Seriously it has achieved the following realistions:
1) I have an ability to present a case positively, irrespective of the reality of a situation We are, at the end of the day, foot soldiers in the burecratic war between customers and those who make decisions (obviously missed my calling to the bar and I don’t mean the one where they ring the bell for last orders lol)
2) A lot of the positives came from actions instigated by myself
3) There’s going to be a risk of getting noticed again. Should be keeping head down but active brain coupled with experience means I want to be in frontline.
4) If successful the application could fuel the opinions of those who see me as a threat.
5) My team might not be too pleased if they have to have a group photo splashed all over the place.

Sadly I must have a self -destruct jene that forces a hand to be raised when volunteers are required. Then I believe that good leaders obey certain traits:

1. Lead by example
2. Make sure staff feel valued
3. Praise in public, bollock in private
4. Don’t keep a dog and bark yourself (aka delegate, even if it goes against the grain)
5. Remember that today’s trainee could be tomorrow’s boss

If I go to the Gym tonight it will for the first time in a week and hoping that my abilities have not slipped back. I am feeling the need to rip and burn….muscles that is not telephone directories lol.

Someone should have told that pilot the strange object in the sky isn’t a UFO it’s the Sun I can see it now, we’d just forgotten what it looks like.

I am drying up now or is that out? Till next time take care

(G&T) Guilt and Tennis

Listening to: Love don’t let me go- Guetta vs Egg
Feeling: Back in the light of day

What is it about being brought up Catholic, that inbuilt sense of guilt that stays with you for life. You can feel the emotion just for breathing. Even those of us who are not religious still retain that subservient attitude, needing to attone for the slightest imperfection in our lives.
No need for any action, the slightest intention in thinking can trigger the guilt feeling. Not that we are perfect, no not by any means, nobody is.
It leaves us at the mercy of those who can manipulate that sense of guilt.

That’s what my weekend was about.

For reason stated above, no Gym since last Tuesday!

Feel annoyed but time is just another unit of measurement and I have patience (in abundance).
Did however ask myself why I am so obsessed and I came up with the following, no particular order and not exhaustive (ha ha):

The only time to myself (time away from o/h and work).
Sadly, I have no other hobbies (Not into Footie etc).
Making my body look better makes me feel better about myself
The pain is like a punishment (back to the catholic thing)
The girl on the desk gets my membership cards without needing to ask my name… making me feel like a valued customer (Either that or she has a thing for middle aged men that look knackered………...I think it’s called sympathy lol)
Get to listen to my type of (Dance) music
Eye candy (never liked the person who I first heard use expression, but cannot think of a suitable alternative)

Caught some of Glastonbury, Killers, Bjork etc…. though gutted missed Manic’s set.

Drank lots more water at end of last week and have pledged to only drink alcohol at weekends. Have to see how long intentions last……… way I feel now do not want another alcoholic drink for a week. Today I am only on my second cup of water .. need to step up the pace to drink two litres per day.

Talking of water, actual conversation between two ladies at copier

Lady 1 “It’s raining again”.
Lady 2 “It’s because it’s Wimbledon”
Lady 1 “What’s rain got to do with the Wombles”.

You may be surprised to learn that lady 1 was serious.


No, surely you cannot be serious!!!


Take care out there

A bad day

Listening to: Start it up

Feeling: Comfortably numb

Domestic yesterday, no rants or raves, just comments on situation recently…alledgedly my fault for not appreciating o/h or caring. If I knew what to say perhaps it would be a start, hence how I feel.
Can only be me, not ideal or most outgoing,,…just me.

Not pre-judging weekend, always hopeful it will be enjoyable, but not confident. Existing is not living.

Office conversation today has been about, germs, pets and holiday’s. It’s a quiet day all round and when I most need to focus on something to take my mind off other things.. it’s like this.

Hope your weekend is good, despite the weather.
Take Care

Wet Wednesday

Listening to: Birds in the trees
Feeling: Neutral- not happy, not sad.

Pholosphoical thought……Skip if easily bored
The last few days have seen a lot of rain, which is making me contemplate the power of water.
Recalling the words of the Master to the pupil (David Carradine) in the series Kung Fu. He said, “learn to be like water, a powerful force but one which adapts it’s self to the shape of the container in which it lives”.

My philosophy to life is very much like that, integrate into most environments but at the same time seek out means of escape. I hate feel confined or trapped and am most powerful unchecked. However, that is where life has me, trapped in vessels and being changed from one form to another.
Try clenching water in your hands and it runs through gaps in your fingers. Cup it gently in your hands and you can drink of life.

Like the drink consumed earlier I can be expelled & return in another form, never consistent and always adaptable.

Update
Yesterday, Pirates of Carribean- Worlds End…still good but too long. Some scenes were OTT and served little purpose.

Hoorah-Gym later and pleased that I have made a difference over a period of time.
Even if I feel that individual sessions have not gone well, must appreciate what I achieve more.


Smile! it’s one of the few infectious things that won’t end up in a visit to the clinic lol.

Take care

Fly joins team

Listening to: Find Somebody to love -Boogie pimps
Feeling: Bored

I am sad today because the blog’s I normally read have no new entries, which makes my world rather drab.
I know one person was having technical issues, hope they get sorted soon.

In our office today we have an uninvited guest, a large fly that dive bomb’s people. The window’s have been opened in an attempt to encourage the offending article to take his arse off the premises. I think he is enjoying making a nuisance of himself too much. He’d better p***off soon or he will find himself on the payroll lol.
Fly has now been joined by a wasp… hope it’s not Stingo!

Tomorrow I have an exciting training course on disciplinary procedure.. wopee doo!

T’s just came back from the little girl’s room and I commented on the nice smell of coconut (a cream she uses). She got paranoid cos I said it was a really nice smell… like pena collada’s. She thinks I meant overpowering.
Note to self…careful what you say….even innocently.

As today goes I will judge it by the ending yet to come. Sincerely hope to make it to Gym for some enlivenment.
Take care

The get out Claws

Listening to: a muted radio one and a bird twittering…..I think the birds winning.
Feeling Monday’ish


Friday night was not good, got soaked making some deliveries and cocked up on getting tea from chip shop. Too tired to care and felt completely drained.
Saturday was so exciting, I washed my car inside and out before the rain p***** on my effort. Now I have a mental blank on the remainder of the day, yes it really was that riveting. Physically I have been suffering but not sure if it is bad hay fever, the onset of a cold or just being tired.

Sunday, Fathers day, lovely card from Daughter and a pressie….just what I needed to the little star
How did I spend the day?
Woke by o/h getting ready for an important exam. Tidying of house before going to gym for an hour +. Then to big shops to take hose fitting back (wrong size). Bought 18 rolls of toilet paper, cos it was on offer.
You might think it’s a girly thing to do but having no toilet paper can be tad inconvenient and it’s a relatively expensive item considering what it gets used for lol.
Returned home put a load of washing on, cleaned lounge and kitchen.
O/h comes back gutted at not passing.

In the garden stood by a bench with a rain cover on, little paw, with very sharp claws, quickly darts out and strikes foot. Been wearing flip –flops and maybe moved my toes…. nothing like cats claws in vulnerable soft flesh for pain. Brave member of male race, I left o/h hanging out washing and found anti septic cream to apply to gaping wound (laceration I think is the technical term)
O/h praised cat…. I got own my back later, got a hair lug out with the cat comb….not quite a punishment but they do not like the comb. Have had several wounds as a result of attempting to remove matted fur.

Daughter called from beach on South Coast, to say happy fathers day, ..ahh how nice and I am not really jealous…well a little.
Back at work today I am thinking that mast get away , even for one day, long time since took time out to enjoy a day. At home always find thing to do or need doing , no personal time-out.

More form filling this afternoon, god how I love paperwork…if only it was soft paper, then it would have a useful purpose lol.

Back tomorrow for more, hopefully upbeat, update.

Time is an illusion

Listening to: It's Not Over- Klaxons

Feeling: Not in control

At the moment time seems to be moving quicker than I am. Hence I was in trouble for being late back from Gym yesterday.
Apparently I had been gone one and half hour’s and my tea was being cooked on the basis of returning earlier. Nothing was spoiled and I apologised.
If I could claim it was because I was enjoying myself or making some real development I would probably have been more happy. As it is the session was hard and I spent most of the time in the ‘Advanced’ room dodging younger & fitter people and vying for use of equipment.

Allegedly perception of time is related to your heart/ brain activity. In younger/ fitter people, heart/ brain activity occurs more rapidly providing a stroboscopic effect, making time seem to last longer. As we get older heart/ brain activity slows down and we perceive time moving more rapidly. So I have concluded, due to increased activity, my perception at the time was nothing like the reality. Therein I rest my case for the defence…it’s over to you the jury.

Also have to confess, despite having decided to drink only pop on the evening, a bottle of red was opened for
the recipe …….so I finished the remainder. I have tried to console myself with the thought that Roman soldiers
drank wine all the time (and a lot more potent). However, they faced the thought of decimation (the random
killing of one in ten soldiers to demonstrate a willingness to die for the emperor). Would’nt you would probably try and cram as much drink , food and sex and anything else enjoyable into your day too?


The office conversation has now turned to what you would’ not do for £1 million. S said there’s probably not a lot but J came up with some like leaving the children, so S had to conceded that there were a few things.
Shame! I was just off to get a lottery ticket on the off chance lol.
On the subject of names, we were postulating why a lot of people use their middle names instead of their Christian names and the cruelty of parents in choosing names.
Now the conversation has turned to who have you met that’s famous, sadly we can all only admit to minor celebs (met as having been in close proximity to or talked to, not attending one of their concerts or the like).
OMG……. sex and the city eat you heart out, see how we pass the time, it’s all happening here. …. TFIF or TGIF

The lights just flashed off and on and the thunders rumbling, so I had better post this before we have a black out or something goes down.
At the risk of drying up, or more likely drying out, I wish you a happy weekend.

Clothes, Nakedness and imagination

Listening to: Make a move on me-Joey Negro

Feeling: Tired, bored and frustrated

Yesterday’s update

What a day, first the computer system was down, then the phones, then the internet. !
I ask you….do they think I can go a day without letting you into my world.

Anyway before the fatal crash here is what I had managed.

Listening to: California- Red Hot Chillies

Feeling : More of a mouse than a man

Collected another eight bags of horse poo for garden. O/h’s friend owns a livery, so ample supplies. The problem is having to drive over two fields to get it.
Never made it to gym, did some weights followed by digging the muck in; enough of a work out for one day lol.

Watched Trinny and Suzzana and thought to myself what would I say if I was behind screen. Probably what I think o/h wants to hear more than what I actually think, therin lie’s the rub.
On the subjects of clothes and horses, why are young ladies in riding gear so attractive, or is that just me?

Finally made it to bed at 2 a.m. and woke again at 6:30 not feeling tired, no doubt it will kick in during the day. Good job I do not do anything too important, listening to the ladies talk about kid’s, diet’s and buying property abroad, enough to send anyone to sleep lol.

Today’s update

I have a headache, the type that comes with thundery weather and being indoors. Last night I demolished a bottle of red, which according to the news is well above my RDA but then , who cares, we all have to die of something lol.
Today I am due to have a visist fron a senior auditor to go through a few cases. I have never been able to see her in the same light since a colleague informed me she is a naturist lol. Nothing wrong wanting to be naked, If you are comfortable with your body, fine. Just not what I expected. Infact I admire her, how many of us would be confident to be in the buff?

Whilst on the subject of nakedness and clothes I am aware of the technique that involves imagining your boss in underwear, whilst you are receiving a severe reprimand, to avoid the psychological effects and becoming depressed.
However I would say that there is a danger because you could:

• Burst into hysterics proving you are as unbalanced as they thought
• Start to find them strangely attractive
• Become obsessed with imagining people in authority in underwear (if you get into a lot of trouble)

Fortunately never been in the position of having to employ this technique. If I do, let’s hope my boss is female and reasonably attractive or it coulkd end in PTSD lol.

Oh well, back to the grind before I get into trouble
Take care

Strange talents

Listening to: Generator (The Holloways)
Feeling: Frustrated


Yesterday evening was boring, apart from a quick trip to the supermarket and watching the latest TV talent show. Sunday’s show was the best with a lady who generated sparks by taking an angel grinder to a metal cod piece she was wearing. Absolutely fantastic and sexy performance.
I do wonder how some people discover these strange talents. Do they suddenly think I’m bored so I know what I’ll do…swallow a sword, eat glass or better still take an angel grinder and a metal cod piece and …

Today has been too busy for my liking, staff on annual means I have to chip in and frankly the computer is p****** me off.
Clicking and waiting for more than 30 seconds to perform a task is really too much. Next time they swap mine I want a female …. At least they can multi task lol.

Tonight, whilst I hope to be visiting the Gym, I do now that I will be collecting some more horse muck for the garden from o/h friends. Oh lucky boy do I get all the good jobs.

So all round it’s been a pretty s***** day and I am lacking the inspiration to write a decent blog……. shame on me.

Before I end let me thank those who take time to read this.
Until next visit take care.

A Stiff One

Feeling: Knackered

Listening to: Love don’t let me go

In the heat of Saturday, cutting back the trees at the rear of out garden fence was not a wise task to undertake.
What’s even more stupid was moving that old cast iron lawn mower that had been dumped behind the fence. In the process of removing it , being lodged in the trees, I got stung on the nose by a wasp. Funny now, not at the time though. The trees and shrubs have big spikes, like six inch nails, so I am also covered in scratches and a few bruises from climbing about in the dense wilderness.
After a trip to the local tip to dispose of the mower and lots of other junk I returned to the job of sawing through branches and lopping. Think I had too much sun, the garden is south- west facing, had a headache and irritable on the night.
Sunday was not much better, even I did not feel like going to the gym!Trip to the shops, then gardening, sawing and lifting. My o/h is the gardener/designer I just supply the labour to move the heavier items.
Back to “work” today feeling like I have been beaten up with a baseball bat and wondering where the weekend went.
On the way to the shop on Sunday evening, about 6 o’clock, passed local wine bar. Three girl’s sitting outside, one with head slumped forwards, in the I’ve had a liitle too much and want to go to sleep style, .made me smile and sad at same time.I smiled because I know the feeling., too much alcohol makes me tired too. Sad because it reminds me we tend to drink for more than just social reasons these days.Those that don’t drink find other ways to deal with life, as Mr George Michael demonstrated. What makes us the same is we don’t get aggressive we just nod off…..preferably not at traffic light though lol.

Before I get back to work, if you are into 70’s & 80’s fashion, shoes or a positive outlook HGH2 has some relevant themes today
Take care and enjoy the day, if I have not seized up I will be back.
Any know how to massage…baby oil supplied lol.

Office Privacy, IUD's and Thong's

Listening to: I like all these girls
Feeling: Naughty

Yesterday’s Gym session was the best for a long time. It might be because I found a new AAA battery for my Mp3 or the fact that I varied my routine, I just know it was good because I felt a slight shakiness in my arms which means that I have pushed them hard.

I should point out here that although I probably sound gym obsessed, I do not look like a weightlifter/ body builder.
After going back to the gym for over 12 months I can safely say that I have a reasonable looking body.
At 6ft 1" and 13 stone I have never been what you would call fat (well not since I was a teenager ). On the other hand I find it hard to develop muscle. I need to exceed 2500 calories per day but have a fast metabolism and easily burn off vital proteins.
No protein shakes for me though, sticking to normal food!

Being a supervisor has it’s up and down’s, on the whole though I am blessed with a good team , they even make me cup’s of coffee.
Nothing is secret when you sit so close to each other, which means even conversations of about personal issues. I tend to try and discretely find a task away form my workstation when they discuss things like the coil and vaginal discharges.
Although I am their boss there are some things I do not need to hear.

Which leads me on to why anyone enters a profession where you need to examine other people, imaging the sights they endure.
I could probably do most jobs, with training, but I would draw the line at a chiropodist. Nothing has got to be more gross than fungal nail infections.
Probably why some smart arse advertising company has those type of television adverts scheduled for tea time, along with warts and verruca’s.

Now on a more positive note here are some comedians/ comedy characters I find funny (you can see that I am trying to distract my mind from thinking about aforementioned, can’t you):

* Bernie (Catherine Tate as Irish Nurse) - The Catherine Tate Show.
* Joannie "Nan" Taylor - The Catherine Tate Show
* Moz (Johnny Vegas) - Ideal
* Homer Simpson - The Simpsons

Oh bugger, my concentration has just been zapped by S, she has just asked if anyone has seen the new Thong, essentially it’s a piece of plastic that has no sides and clings to your body. Another of the team has just said you can imagine what’s going to happen on the dance floor. “Excuse me is this yours”? lol ….. Now I am am laughing so hard I'm crying.

J’s off to have her coil fitted, S is off to a training course and I am about to eat my lunch whilst trying not to think too much about thongs.

Sincerely hope everyone has a brilliant weekend.

Who do you think you are?

Listening to: A lot of bloody talk and very little music on Radio One!
Feeling: Analytical


Beliefs lead to thoughts and feelings, which in turn produce behaviours

Lying on the Settee last night, admiring the remains of the sun reflecting on the opposite houses and watching the conifer trees sway in the breeze, put me in a rather reflective mood.
The television was not because I had a headache and o/h had gone to bed for a lye down cos she was tired…fine pair of lightweights.
Amongst other things, I recalled how I was always puzzled that two people could look at the same object or situation with different feelings and descriptions. Despite the subject under examination not changing.
This was explained, when I undertook an Emotional Intelligence course. It’s to do with the fact that we bring ideas into the equation, thoughts feelings and emotions based on previous experience, including our up bringing.

Failing to let go of the past is like Monkeys who will not let go of the peanut, trapped in a coconut shell, the Borneo tribesman just reel in the shell and capture the monkey. So learning to let go is a good basis for change.

O/h eventually emerges about 9 o’clock and I went to shop to get some cat food and litter for the tray. We have seven cat’s ranging in age from 9 months to 5 yrs. It’s fun to watch them in the garden, trying to catch small midges or stalking birds.

I do not know if it was tiredness, or just lack of attention to detail, but I bought 10 cans of cat food and did not notice when I unpacked 9. So on the way to work today I braked at an island and heard a loud thud coming form the back of the car. At first I thought I had been hit but then soon realised the source was an errant can of Tesco premium cuts lol

The good thing about going to the supermarket that time of night is the bargains. I managed to get a crusty tin loaf for 10p.
Let me say here that I refuse to pay silly prices for bread. No flippin surprise Man does not live by bread alone, with most brands over £1.00 I can believe it!

Later I watched a programme called extreme party, which showed two groups. One a group of gay clubbers visiting Amsterdam, whilst high on (40+ ) magic mushrooms. The other a Rugby club team (lads in 20’s) at a club disco. The programme filmed both teams whilst they were off the heads, then played it back to them when they were sober

A psychologist commented with a view that the gay clubbers will die early because of the abuse their bodies take and the Rugby players seem to undertake a lot of homo-erotic initiation behaviour… basically they were getting naked and wanking each other off, on camera!
The psychologists view was that the Rugby initiation behaviour was less than voluntary for many of them and whilst they took part this was because of a fear of exclusion from the group. A bit like public school peer pressure I imagine.

Anyway I thought it coincidental that I had read a blog yesterday about a person sending a picture of his male appendage and here I am watching more displays of manhood. Am I missing something or should I also be feeling the need to exhibit? Does it make you any more male ?



I might not be an exhibitionist but I am confidently male so, for the time being, I think I’ll keep it in my trousers, or private viewings only lol


Take care

Journey- Journal #

Listening to; NYC Beats
Feeling: Frustrated, Confused and Optomistic

F****** hell,!
Set out early for work today in the hope of making some time up, proved to be a big mistake.
Traffic lights alternated between allowing pedestrians to cross and the traffic flowing across the junction to go, but not our side.
I was second car back from lights and wondered just exactly how long someone would site there before they did something. So, after three changes, I did a u-turn and chose a second route, only to be stuck behind some air head in a battered fiat panda doing 5 mph. Lost that snail and ended up following another.
The entire journey took three times as long as normal, why the f*** do I bother?
Flexible working is fine, except when situations are not your fault, It’s like you can feel the punishment but you can’t commit the sin.
Maybe I was naughty in a previous life lol.
Not sure why I care, nobody chases ot hasseles me about being in debit or credit, it’s just an inbuilt sense of guilt cos it does not set a good example for a team leader.


The situation on the domestic front has been a little fraught recently, so some of theses blogs are not as upbeat and interesting as I would like. Confidence tends to dictates my mood and my writing, so apologies if some e entries are a bit turgid. I promise to try and do better.

Yesterday afternoon’s training was enjoyable. I think a lot is dictated by who else is there , particularly when working in groups. Nice to be with two bubbly vivacscious ladies, cutting out shapes, folding and pasting then using childrens letter blocks to spell the highest scoring word and I am getting paid for this!

Seriously, I thought I was a star, when I managed to generate the word ‘Behaviourism’, whilst working with our communications manager. She apologised to me for not being good at games…yeah… and I am Mr Competitive lol.

The down side was that we later learned that the scores were not those on the blocks but one for a vowel and two for a consonant, with the exception of Q,Z,or X ,Which score 10.
If the word was customer relations related you got double.
So eventually came up with ‘Expectation’ (pluralisation not allowed). The top score was Questionnaire.

Missed the Gym last night, did some weights at home instead, better than no exercise at all.
Tonight should be going to Cinema. I say should , cos it depends upon how we feel. Good intentions often get overridden by
lack of enthusiasm and energy. Not sure I want to see Spider man but Pirates would be good.

Sad as I am to leave you I will be back tomorrow, keep smiling and take care.

Customer training day

As I type this blog I am on my lunch break from a Customer first training session. It’s not actually called a training session, more of a focus group thing with working in small groups and generally reviewing experiences and best practice.
What I pick up from virtually any training session is that we are all as keen as each other when we are in the training environment but behaviours are harder to change in the actual working environment.
Having been employed in at least five different sectors, it is with a certain amount of experience that I can say this is the real stumbling block.
Anyway before I get philosophical and try and correct what the captains of industry cannot, I will cut this short.

Hopefully I will be in the Gym tonight and try and build some more muscle on my tall frame. At 6ft 1” I am wighing in at 13 St 1lb, which is not bad but the stomach seems to please itself. Despite my best efforts at weighted sit up’s ,beyond a little definition, I still have a little spare flesh.
My shoulder and arms have adapted nicely, why won’t my abs play the game to?
Maybe if I keep expanding my shopulders and arms, like an inflatable suit, the stomach would seem smaller by comparison…yeah right lol.

Lunch today was a ham sandwich, Apple, Banana and a packet of cheesy Wotsits. Not my favourite type of crisp. That orange dusty coating sticks to fingers then gets all over the place, especially the keyboard….oh god now I have to clean the computer..that’s bound to lead to a systems crash.

Enjoy your day and I hope to catch you with a more interesting blog tomorrow.

For now I am due bacxk in the training room
C U L8R

Monday-Monday..so good to me..

Should have known it! Today was not going to be a good day, it’s that run of luck.
Woke up late , having fallen back to sleep. Being the conscientious employee, decide to do last nights washing up, feed the cats, change their litter tray and any other domestic chore you think of before departing to work.
As I bend down and tie my shoe laces, one breaks. Now the choices are change for boots available in the downstairs cupboard, going upstairs to seek out other shoes or try and tie what remains of the lace in typical lazy man style. It’s Monday, I am tired despite the extra time in bed and I really cannot be asked to go upstairs, so I choose the latter option (demonstrating membership of the typical man club, I hear you ladies say).
At work the day starts with our vital computer system going down , cheers all round, then boo’s, as it comes back online 10 minutes later.
Short staffed, you are keeping things ticking over nicely, when a colleague reminds you about a very boring meeting you had forgotten about and Outlook has not reminded you of. You endure an hour long session with colleagues listening to a less than exciting, or inspiring, ICT representative trying to coerce you into proactive taking on more work.

Tasked by my O/h with going to Post Office to send a letter Air Mail and paying a cheque into Bank for an embarrassingly minuscule amount.
The post Office was efficient and the letter cost less than I expected. However the Bank has changed beyond all recognition. Only one till open when I arrived, with a lengthy queue moaning about the fact that you cannot simply pay-in over the counter easily. There were several ATM paying in machines allowing deposits, but you need a card and our account is internet based, so no choice but to wait..
As I am on my lunch break, frustration builds at loosing time whilst the local help the aged population pay –in plastic bags of coins,. I then noticed a Business Banking queue hidden around the corner, so I quickly joined that. Only to find the woman infront of me, in a Holland & Barrett uniform, was banking what appeared to be a weeks takings.
Finally served, I make a brisk exit back down the High Street, avoiding the people conducting surveys and the Radio Wyvern ladies dressed as can-can dancers, to promote re-cycling.
I look at people to see if any colleagues are out and about, more importantly noticing the fine weather has changed dress mode, resulting in more ladies wearing rather less attire. Nothing more pleasant than a nice pair of legs!
Sadly those on display were either of Nora Batty variety or conversely still of school age lol .
Disappointed at the lack of eye candy, I look at the shops and notice that there’s a branch of La Senza in this sleepy rural town.
So that’s what the locals get up to!!!
No wonder, so many of them are living to a ripe old age. I thought I had stumbled on the inspiration for the film Cocoon when first starting work here. Now I think I have the answer, the oldies are all into the sexy undies, resulting in children at a rather advanced age, hence the absence of people in 20’s –40’s age range.
Previous explanations, that no one can afford the high property prices are just a ruse to throw people off the scent
Should’nt be surprised if there’s a strong swingers community, only in their case it would be literally due to the effects of gravity lol.

I now apologise cos we are all going to be old one day and hopefully still with a glint in the eye and a spring in the step, Mine will probably be a trampoline to get me over the kitchen step lol.

I have an Asthma Clinic appointment after work, nothing serious, just a six monthly check up that the prevention inhalers are still working. They run an appointment system but still you wait for nearly half hour to be seen.
Having suffered years of what I thought was just hay fever, I was diagnosed earlier this year and got put on an ‘Asthma Register’.
My image of Asthma sufferers dates back to when I was at school. The overweight boy with the NHS glasses that did not take part in school sports and lacked confidence, often bullied for being different. Now I know that it affects more of us than previously thought, including those who take exercise regularly.
Still we all have to die of something………………………. hope mine is having a good time.. lol.
Take care out there.

«#Blogging Brits?»

Dirty weekend

My daughter phoned me yesterday…. first words were, How many stomach’s has a cow got?
Not how are you, or an explanation of why the information is required. Apparently it was a conversation with her friends, nice to be phone a friend lol.
She then goes on and tells me that she has been sick that morning and the other girls have been teasing her that she is pregnant, which she assured me she is not.

Today I txt her to enquire if she was o.k., so she phones me back and told me she has headache and has been sick, cos thay had too much booze after Rugby training last night. Having just turned 18, I do get worried about her, but I know that I cannot stop her living her life.
Thinking back to what I was like at 18, I do get concerned, but I know that she is:
1) Happy in what she does
2) In a disciplined service
3) With good friends
4) Learning a skill
5) Getting paid
6) Enjoying life and independence
7) Growing up (which makes me feel old)

Last nights gym session was better than others of late, concentrated on arms to try and build up some more muscle on bisceps.

One compliment today was that my ring tone was cool-Love Don't Let Me Go (Walking Away): Music: David Guetta Vs The Egg. Good energy music for Gym / mp3.
The compliment came from a young blond lady in her twenties, living with her partner and 2 boys. It might not be cool for everyone but I am chuffed that someone half my age thinks I have cool taste in music.

My exciting weekend prospects include getting more manure for garden and likelihood of more DIY. Still it is exercise and it keeps me from getting into any mischief.


Today everyone seems to be in a good mood, so rather than spoil it with more ramblings I will wish you all a good weekend, for those who like the beautiful game, Come on England!

Take Care
P.S. The answer to her question, according to Wikipedia, is one stomach, with four compartments. So I have learnt a completely useless bit of trivia, thanks to my offspring.

My short blog for today

Woke late this morning, needed sleep after Gym, tea, a bottle of red and a bit of bed time passion.
As morning go I was more awake than usual, though I did stay and watch ‘sticky toffee thomas’ (Thomas the Tank Engine) before going to work.
There is something about Ringo star’s voice that is just perfect for the narration.

I must admit to being a bit of a fan of childrens television programmes. A lot more interesting than the Adult ones in the main, also better made.

What’s more likely is , cos I am not a morning person, is the level of intellectual stimulation is about right for me lol.

It’s easy for me to suspend disbelief, but one series of adult entertainment that had me gripped was ‘Life on Mars’. For anyone who grew up in the 1970’s it is just so representative of the attitudes of the times. Brillant well made and much missed.

A sad indictment is that if I divided my life between, work, sleep ,watching television, exercise and engaging in civilised conversation I begin to realise how little I engage others in meaningful exchange.
Good job I have this blog to air the odd thought or two.
Perhaps tomorrow I will have something of more substance to share, until then take care.

Hobbies, Passtimes and Obsessions

Some ladies like shoes and Brantano's marketing people have picked up on this, equating the psychological aspect of the compulsion to purchase with a 'slingback synapse'.
They then attempt to link their founder with the likes of Carl Jueng and Freud. Good Marketing or Bad mistake?
Personally I hate the advert.

Putting the words psychology and shoe into a search gets some interesting results.

PsyBlog magazine
Radio One

Being a man, not having a clue what all the fuss is about, gives me comfort.
We tend to wear ours until they need replacement/ reach minimum tread depth.

"Never Judge another man until you have walked a mile in his shoes in his shoes” After that, you’re far enough away to say what the hell you like, he won't hear.

I wondered if we had other obsessions and if these are gender or age related. The most obvious for men would be football/ sport obsession, car obsession, fishing, D.I.Y etc.
What of men without a fixation, are they lacking or getting the attention that prevents other hobbies turning into obsessions?

Can blogging be an obsession?

Tonight I am due another visit to my obsession..... the gym.
Tomorrow I may blog again by then no doubt the world will be full of people with Big Brother obsessions.
Take Care

Bank Holiday, Birds and all that Sh.....

Oh what a Bank Holiday, four days off work & stuck indoors cos of the rain,with a mensurating wife and a moody teenage daughter lol.
Friday Night My o/h took exception to me not getting the daughter to come back down stairs after an exchange between the two. As bad as each other, I thought separatrion and sleep might calm the mood. My o/h viewed this as my taking sides and I got the cold shoulder. All I wanted was some peace, so I ended up apologising on Saturday morning, which restored order.
Saturday
Doing a few odd jobs when o/h shouts to come in to kitchen with an exclamation that our cats were playing with "something" under the kitchen units. Should explain here that there are no plinths fitted, cos we needed floor tiling first.Investigation found a live, fledgling Bluetit.Rescued the poor blighter from the torment of being the cats latest toy, found old hamster three storey cage and deposited bird, after checking condition. Seemed chirpy enough but wounded under wing. Search of internet then ensues for help on caring for "Tom" as my wife christened him.Spent rest of day doing some odd jobs, looking out at rain and checking on "Tom".Temporarily housed in Bedroom, away from errant cats being able to reach.
Sunday
Got sent to the Gym for being "doppy" which is not surprising considering I did not sleep too well and got woke early by a chirpy Tom.The gym was quiet...oh the number of times I have wished for this....easy access to everything..but that vital factor aka 'energy' was missing, so I put in a satisfactory performance before showering and going home. Quick bacon sandwich and cup tof tea before going to local shops to look for some live meal worms. Only found dried ones but did amange to get a packet of small bird mixed feed. Felt quite excited at the thought that we might be able to get Tom back to health and let him go. Another 'chill out' day cos of the weather being dull and depressing.
Monday
Finally managed to get something done. I emusioned the new utility area with a base coat of white. Took me two hours but I felt that somethingf has been achieved and the Bank Holiday is not a total waste. Infact I feel like I have some self esteem back for that.Today ended on a sad note. Tom was not taking any food and given that they are supposed to eat every two hours, it is not surprising that wefound Tom taking his final breath's. Our conslation is that he is not suffering any longer, nor did he die in the wet and cold outside.Made Tom a bio-degrable coffin (aka cardborad and masking tape).
Tuseday
OMG is that the sun....yes yes, quick lets get out there a do something.Made o/h breakfast, only egg and soldiers but hey...I did eggs just right for a change lol.Went to Evesham to do an errand and visited Garden center and the Country park on way back. Then Home, in time for daughters departure back to barracks. As she drives her car off cannot help feeling proud that she is becoming independant, has good friends but still remains a typical teenage at times.We went out for lunch follwed by collecting a few bags of manure for garden. Yes.... I know the two activites do not fit very well together but given the weather for past few day's it's a case of making hay whilst sun shines. I forgoe Tuesday Gym visit and do some weights at home.Think lifting 6-7 sacks of wet manure, negotiating it into a garden, down a flight of stairs to the final resting place sufficient exercise for one day. The sacks felt like body bags and you have no idea how hard I prayed that they did not burst en-route.Buried Tom on the evening.....sad as I am to see him in the ground I realise that his arrival and departure had an impact upon an other wise dismal and uneventful few day's. Lets hope the cats stick to the usual suspects..the odd mouse, bank vole or occasional rat.
Back to work tommorow...... but still a short week for me.
Take care until next post.

Friday feeling

I woke early again..cos the cats had not been put in the kitchen and the door closed last night. That's what you get from having a few drinks before bed time. Silly really, I was so tired I just wanted to hit the sack. My own worst enemey at times.
Gym session was good and I felt great but the endorphine rush soon wears off. Not addicted to going but need the occasional rush.

This is not going to be a long entry, I am sitting here trying to think of what to say, which is not good.
Lying awake at 6:30 ish this morning I was contemplating fashion Models; not in the sexual way. Just thinking how many of them I have seen on the Telly (Fashion TV) Cigarette in hand waiting behind the scene's having hair or make-up done. I ask myself why.Given many are blessed with a better than average figure why do they inflict their lungs and skin with noxious fumes.
Their choice I suppose, but you can't have everything and I guess they did not stand in the wisedom/ common sense queue.
Bank Holiday weekends almost here! I have the pleasure of four days with two ladies, my wife and my daughter who is back for weekend.
Hope the weather is good cos I sure need to get outside.

Maybe next week I will post a 'minority report' and let you know how it went lol.
Take care

Opinions,Rlationships and Ageism

Firstly, I have to take back any thoughts I had about going to see Pam Ayres. Despite being the youngest members of the audience we thought she was very good.Her act was a bit of a mixture of poetry and tales, reflecting on life and experiences. Like most good stories/jokes it's not the content but the delivery that provides the entertainment . Some of the material centered around age and retirement. One story, I thought amusing , related to a friend who's husband had recently retired. Normally, the husband worked in London and stayed over three nights a week ,so the lady had buildt up a social circle around playing Tennis. Now the husband has retired he feels compelled to comment whenever the lady get's ready to go out fto meet her tennis friends, with a remark that makes his dissapproval known. I am far from nearing retirement, but I also get this type of reaction when I get my things rerady to go to the gym. It might not be a comment , maybe just a sulking face and silence, but it still has an effect.
It does not take much to make me feel guilty ,occasionally I give in to this emotional blackmail, promising myself that I will go the next day instead. The tale made me think about this aspect of relationships and how we all seek approval. Still it's good to hear that it's not just me then.....anyone else experiencing same?
Relationships are strange things and I try to increase my E.I. and keep an open mind. What I have learnt is that I need lots of attention/ love to stroke my ego and hence my feeling of self esteem. I admire socially confident people, like my O/H , she could make friends anywhere.
I am also starting to question my opinions of people though, as I observed the strutting peacock of gym training with his son. Yes, he is a show off, but he seemed less arrogant encouraging his offspring. Maybe I was resentful of his confidence or is that I realise it's a front he put's on for 'the lads' . Underneath he might also think his form less than ideal.
Now before this gets all deep and philisophical.....................................................................................
We are thin on the ground today so I have been knuckling down to keep the work flowing. The other side of the office had a meeting in the morning leaving only three of us in an office of 20. I had a rare chance to have a quick chat with my boss who, despite being a Liverpool fan, was not sulking!Actually I have to admit he is the most reasonable, down to earth nice guy I have ever worked for.Our conversation revolved around how, despite the failings of this organisation, there are advantages too. Life here ,despite being boring, is better than many other places. We resolve that keeping your head down and getting on with the job is probably the best course for survival, at least for now.
The good news for me is that being busy gets me closer to the end of the day and that gym. When I get there the story might be different though, still need to feel that I am making a difference. I know how to vary my exercises to promote growth, access to the equipment sometimes impedes that though.
Instead of the dance music I had Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Stadium Arcaduim on in the car. Wonder if the kid's going to school heard the music then looked for a car with a younger driver...lol.
Funny how age is only visible on the outside..never feel older on the inside.... ......
o.k parties over time to knuckle back down.
CUL8R

Under Parr

Woke at 4 a.m. with a purring and restless cat on the bed, incase she wanted litter tray took to kitchen and put her in with other cats before closing door and sneaking back to bed.I then lay there for the next two hours unable to get back to sleep, feeling rather sorry for myself(clue1). O/H severely rebuked me on two points last night1) Not locking back door knowing she was going out 2) Writing a sh** letter with bad grammar
Normally I would not have taken this to heart. Not locking the door was an oversight but I had taken time to compose,what I thought, was a decent letter of complaint. I did not rise to the comments at the time, thinking she might still be in pain from her tooth extraction/ stitches in gums (or even that it might be the onset of PMT given how she shouted and went red in face whilst I was sat next to her).My view was that the reaction was not in proportion to the eventsand therefore there must be some other reason for such an outburst.
As I have promised myself before I try and note what my body is telling me and last week should have given me an idea.I almost shed a tear when Len died on Emmerdale!(clue2) Now, before you go thinking I am gay I can assure you that I am not.
My O/H insists on watching the Soaps, I used to escape by washing up then the Dishwasher arrived, so no escape.
Although I have inhalers for asthma and suffer from hayfever, the Benydriyl did not prevent nasal congection to the extent that I snored and woke myself up(clue 3)
Monday's tea , the remains of Saturday's chinese takeaway was not suffucent and I have not eaten as much for lunch recently.I need to exceed 2500 calories per day if I am going to stay healthy and put my body through rip and burn sessions(clue3)
Last nights visit to Gym was dissapointing, I still feel that I can see no changes, despite my efforts. I had to use lighter weights on some exercises cos I felt I had no energy (Clue 4).
Have felt the need to go for a wee a lot in past two days, just thought it was drinking too much coffee and sediantry life(clue5)
Recent headaches I have attributed to the nasal congection and weather (clue6)
So what's it all about?
Well, I am not looking after myself and possibly suffering an infection, which my body is fighting without really winning.Meanwhile I make more demands on it, no wonder my emotions are not always under control!
Note to Self:1) Drink more water2) Eat properly3) Try and sleep the requisite 7-8 hrs4) Stop being a soft lad
On a lighter note we are off to our local theatre tonight to see Pam Ayres....she writes poetry and comic rhymes and used to appearon That's Life. Front row seat too, hope she is as funny as Victoria Wood, will let you know.We booked this ages ago in the gloom of winter, thinking it might be nice to get out of the house and do something God! that makes us sound like a retired OAP's does'nt it. Help!!! I am 45, or should you ask the wife 4+5= 9.
I expect to have a more positive post tomorrow but for now take care.