Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Eclectic at best

Listening to: and Perhaps it’s an omen ,Rihanna ft Jay-Z-Umbrella (Def Jam), number one at mo

Feeling Like: Why does it always pi** down when I have to deliver or collect something?
Watching the news put’s perspective on it though, others loose their homes and possessions or even lives.

Following on from the Sunday curse of injuries, another curse for those around me yesterday… loss of mobile phones, two to be precise. This is getting well too coincidental for my liking. Wonder what it’ll be today!

At the moment I am a man caught between o/h and daughter, who are not getting on and while I can see both sides. Can’t wait for them to get over it. There’s something about that triangle though, be it a daughter or son, conflict is inevitable, it’s part of the
deal.
Catch 22 gives a brilliant insight on life, if you are ever short of a good read.

bloody autopilot
Resigned to not being a morning person I have washed up, fed cats, made sandwiches, made o/h drimk, had breakfast, changed litter tray, put bin out for dustman and arrived at work.
On exiting car felt a bit of a draught…..if you follow my meaning….yes you got it…failed to close the gate/ flying low , or whatever else you may wish to call it.
Fortunately car park empty so I managed to correct the male equivalent of tucking your dress in your knickers.
No excuse…must spend more time on personal appearance before setting foot outside own door.

Car Stickers
Best car sticker….made me and my Dad laugh over 20yrs ago.
Picture of girl from back, wearing sexy undies, bending slightly forward with hands on hips.
Caption read “Get em down safely with Air Traffic Control”lol

These day’s all I seem to see is baby on board etc, even the joke ones are not as funny.
It’s like were all to PC to appreciate the art of comedy. (Making you think your going in one direction then suddenly taking you somewhere completely different) i.e. The juxtaposition of Sex and Air Traffic Control.

Bad Joke (Apologies in advance for the quality of this offering)
Woman goes to doctor and say’s that whilst she has a wonderful, loving husband, their sex life is no good.
The doctor asks what specifically is the problem.
She says when they have sex she never notices anything, no penetration….. nothing.

The Doctor asks if the husband is adequately endowed
and she confirms that everything is o.k... with both of them.
Then the Doctor asks what her husband does for a living.
She says he is in the S.A.S

The Doc smiles and exclaims, “ that’s it then!”
The lady looks puzzled
The Doctor say’s, “What do you expect, those guy’s are trained to get in and out without anyone noticing”

Crimewatch
The bad news is I have nightmares, caused by watching Nick Ross’s career over 20yrs. We do not normally watch it, just nothing else worthy.
Last night was too much seeing those 1980’s flashbacks. Almost makes you want to become a vampire to gain eternal life.
So in the words of Meatloaf, “Will you offer your throat to the wolf”?
Oh god I really am old aren’t I (a rhetorical question, honest).

Wimbledon (Knicker Watch )
Excuse me please, but did we really have to see Miss Williams stretching…. and at tea time too.
Although we will never know, I wonder if there was some Gamesmanship, she recovered very convieniently.
I believe every one has their day, so in a couple of years it will probably be dominated by young blond Russians screaming niet, niet……..fantastiiiiic. (Des Lynham is very much missed).
Take Care

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi R4, you do well doing all those things first thing in the morning, your wife is very lucky to have breakfast made for her, unless were just talking toast-in which case it doesn't count. Also it appears a darker side is coming through "meatloaf" and "vampire" I will say no more.......enjoy catching up on your life take care.

Red Hot Chillies said...

Hey lihorney,
Who said Breakfast, I just have time to get the drinks most days. On rare occassions I have made porridge and honey or egg and soldiers. Does that count?
Dark side, Nah...Not a lot of people realise Gim Stynman wrote a lot of lyric's for meatloaf. I simply remember an era when it was on radio constantly, hence age reference.Eternal life would be as much a curse as a blessing, on the other hand vampires do get to spend all day in bed lol.
Take care
R4